even now
after the intense
hours of exercise
i put you through
making you go more
than 10,000 steps a day
pushing you further everyday
i still can’t bring myself
to fully accept
the lines curves marks
you present so proudly
after everything
i wish i could
goodbye
i never got to say congratulations
or give you one last hug
i had to organise the memories
like a filing cabinet i can visit
anytime i need a reunion
i close the drawer and whisper goodbye
i’m not good at goodbyes
hold your congratulations
for the eventual reunion
i reach out to hug
you, but i’m waiting for your visit
i’ll hold the memories
you can no longer store with your memories
i’ll tell everyone you said goodbye
and that you’ll visit
when you can, congratulations
for holding on, i’ll hug
everyone at the reunion
rumours start at reunions
empty heads fill with memories
of every hug
you’ve given, but it’s goodbye
from me and congratulations
for your achievements, please visit
with Grandad in dreams or daydreams visit
me and i’ll hold onto that reunion
a real congratulations
moment to be united, i have some empty memories
from our first goodbye
we couldn’t hug
i was too young to know a hug
too young to ask you to visit
so they said goodbye
for me and dreamt of a reunion
where we could pass memories
around a table flooded with congratulations
every goodbye should come with a hug
like a package deal
congratulations hangs in the air until your visit
becomes a reunion and my room isn’t my memories, it’s you
extreme dissonance
i raise my right hand
it only reflects my left
highlighting the seven year old
scar i’ve carried with me
to the mirror everyday
turn the other cheek
this is my bad side
where bones don’t quite line up
we can’t seem to agree
on how every worry is marked
i raise my left hand
and the mirror is gone
ink
i tap my pen against the desk
words queue like people
waiting for a train
i select my platform
and begin my journey
ink bleeds onto the page
like it’s desperate to be heard
i trace the outline of each tattoo
with my little finger
then i write my first word
nothing more beautiful
there’s nothing more beautiful
than the space you occupy
like when we squash together
in a single bed
face to face
every blanket abandoned
in a pile on the floor
that represents our love
building blocks
i count one by one
the pieces you left me
to hold like a pen
while you’re not here
i tie my shoelace of hope
around the moon
and move it closer to you
pareidolia
i see a flower
wilting in the sun
the watering can
abandoned by the oak tree
that shows decades of understanding
a face appears on the trunk
a branch stretches out
water flows from its leaves
petals bloom and so do you
crossroads
watch the mixed signals
from the media
thinner thighs are expected at this stop
to be respected here
you must maintain muscle
stop this
please don’t allow
the station to set the rules
central trains mirror
the tracks
they want us to dance
like puppets
hold my strings
clock
alarm bells ring
at 3am
the clock whistles
a loud tune
demanding my attention
like the time it cried
when i threw it at the mirror
i saw my reflection
dance across its arms
i knew it was time
in the distance, a small shape
i paint you in circles
squares won’t compliment
your curves
triangles far too sharp
not the right angle
for your diagonal dreams
obtrusive thoughts
thrown at the wall
in concentric circles
from a distance
roughly
a diamond darkens
glitch
you are attempting to open a file
do you wish to proceed
please tell your admin
your problems
follow these steps to win
congratulations
pop ups blocked
access denied
overheating wires from
my brain to my toes
malfunction
update
restart
computer shutt
ing down
meloncurls 